Let's trip away from modern day to go dreaming with the trees
just a step away from lullabys with grass stains on our knees
pockets full of higher air to keep us from the ground
hidden paths, we didn't ask, just explored what we had found





Im going to go home. Change into a my favorite tie-dye t-shirt. And rip the bong.
If you don't like that. Then suck it, sit, and rotate. : )

Bring
Your
Own
Habit



Because im sick of paying for it.
In more ways than one.

Your thoughts are like poison
taking over control
of the way that my body
combines with your soul
and i dont really get
why you spit all these words
out of lips that wont kiss
anything but my nerves
maybe we could break
the chain and your reaction
its not too much to ask
but i wont bother askin'
instead i will promise
to vomit on your thoughts
just to stop all the poison
before i get lost

He's at a shooting range with his friends.
I hate guns.


I could sit here for hours
just trying to find
the right words to describe
how im losing my mind

Its been about twenty minutes since I swallowed that blueboy and my body's starting to feel a little funny. I make pleasant conversation with the Cheif of the Police Department and joke about the parameters of the Amazing Race. Meanwhile my mind is playing games with the 30 minutes I have left.
Talk about a fucking turtle.







I want to paste the insides of your brain to my walls
surround myself with the madness and wait for the fall

There's a break in my brain and that must be where you sit. I could hit rewind, but i don't think that will change anything. So lets pretend for a couple of hours that we're okay, and maybe, just maybe i'll let you hold my hand.






Lets start ripping ourselves into five or six pieces
keep them on the shelves and develop a thesis
This gin tastes like sin but we're swallowing air
talking out of our asses, and pretending to care

I walk a lot. Because the blisters on my feet are like a trophy.




I smoke a lot...Because they hurt.



:)

I hate when things don't turn out how you planned.




I twisted up a few with you so i could dream away the bad things.

Inside my head, needle and thread, make their presence known
Stitching up the seems that broke and reconnecting bones








Today wasn't supposed to be like this
but your selfish, so it is.

Im like a voodoo doll so stick in your pins because i wont feel a damn thing
but somewhere else my other self is waiting for the next sting

I'd kiss ass a litle longer but my mouths full of shit
so stop screaming the nonsense cause im not that bitch
You make me sick to my stomach but im too scared to leave you
and my mind is so fucked i think i really need you
I just emptied my stomach after swallowing words
that didn't make sense you just needed to purge
so keep twisting the story and sounding pathetic
cause when i leave ill look back and never regret it
dont bother to stop by because i won't be there
you can scream all you want, i don't think i'll care
when im miles away you'll still be in my heart
but i wont do it again cause im falling apart

We sat between the naked trees sharing merlot with big red ants, i can't believe we drank that bottle so fast. Dark red stains caused laughing fits as the sun faded to nothing. Tipsy and a little high we built a wall around ourselves with giant gaps, as if someone was actually looking.
Its been a year and i still haven't gotten my picnic blanket out of the back seat of your car.

I get my degree tomorrow.






huzzah, we're half way there.

I think that maybe if im crazy something strange will happen
but nothings changed and i remain the only person laughin'


December 9th, 2009

I woke up with a stuffy head and felt something close to sober. Lately my life has felt like a sit and spin. Im one dick slap away from letting go of everyting. Fuck it, because no one else ever bothered to looked close enough, right? I feel selfish for wanting my own life when his has been piled with different flavors of shit. But its not my fault and im tired of sitting in his growing stench. I keep telling myself that I'll wake up tomorrow and take flight, but its been two and a half years and im beginning to think that these wings were clipped a long time ago.

I want a man to pick me up and help me through the hard things
instead the boy has pipes for toys and only gives me smoke rings

It truly is.

As a person who loves her independance this is conastanly tested and tried, moreso around holidays. I'm nineteen years old and have never had a boyfriend. This honestly does not bother me and I love being single. I see a person I like I don't have to worry about offending someone I'm attached to. It's my friends who are hooked up and in love that truly test my relationship status. Sure, having someone there is nice, but when you can be happy when someone is there or not that really counts.

Like the doctor in a Sherwood novel I'm rolling thoughts like paper. But this isn't Ohio, Im not a doctor, and my pockets aren't quite filled yet. So fuck off and find you're own spitballs.